Do We Fight? Or Do We Quit?

     Life, isn't all that easy as you think it would be. Life doesn't give you just one option to choose from, it doesn't give you only one problem to face. Life doesn't give you just one answer for every questions you have.

     Life doesn't give you one particular weather to face. We have four, summer authum, winter, and spring and it comes around, goes around. And when each weather changes from one to the other, life doesn't just stop there, it just keeps moving on, even if you have to stop.

     We face many problems, many challenges in life. Each soul has their own different challenges to face. We go to our friends that we think we could trust. We go to our families who said they are always there for support and help. We go to the ones that we love knowing that they would not leave us alone to be lost in this big big world.

     Sometimes we place high hopes in our families and friends to bring us back to the right track. But there are times that when we share our problems, we expect them to understand our situation. Yet disapointment sets in. Sometimes we are even scare of sharing our problems to the other. Questions of doubtness and fear sets in our head. We feel like running, running to a place that no one would find us. Most of the times we fill that the problem is too big and we just don't know what to do. Too scare of making decisions that might be the bad one instead of a good decision.

     So in the end, we run or give up fighting. We stop kicking for a fresh air when we know that we might drown in the icy cold water. We just got so lost, wanting all of it to just stop moving, to just leave us alone. In the end, we just stop breathing, we stop our will to live, we stop our life.

     I used to think, that people who give up are just people who are too weak to face challenges. But now i know, they are just being humans. We, are all humans. Not a single one of us could say that we never have the thought of losing it, to give up, to put everything down and just step back. We all have that idea, to give up. But what make the thought worst is that we actually give up.

     Our mother had never give up on us when we are always crying for food and they are not really sure of what we are crying for. And that just makes us not having any rights to give up on ourselves. Everyone needs someone or something for us to hold on and pull ourselves together through every challenges. Most of the time we just need people we could trust to push us to the finishing line.

     Having the thought to give up isn't a bad thing. Like I said, the bad part is that we give up, not finishing the races and not getting to see what is on the other side of the line.

     So, my advice is, don't give up even if things are starting to seem scary and impossible. Couse you would only be letting people who love you down, and most of all you will let yourself down.

"To Love And Be Loved In Return"

  "To love and be loved in return", isn't this what all of us believed in till now? The hope of finding someone to love in and hopefully they love you back the same way.

     Love, is not as easy as one would imagine it to be. A young girl's imagination is to find a guy that would love her back and take care of her. With that guy being a Prince Charming none the less, married, have children, grow old and live happily ever after. But for a woman, whom one is having a career, would see love as having someone to talk to, someone that could keep themcompany , to have sex, to go on a date with, to shout and argue with. Someone who would make a woman both happy and scared. And for the guys, some of them... I say again SOME, do not know about love, to begin with. But I guess they know that sex and love is not the same thing. You could have sex with a person but still not loving them. But if you get to ask a guy who have a girlfriend and ask him why he would love her, he would reply saying "Idon't really know, she is just kind, sweet and friendly." That is all that he could give you.

     Are you kidding me? I mean, come on! You love this one girl and you don't even know why? Tell you guys something, try spending some quiet quality time alone and you would start imagining the love of your life rightin front of you, doing things that you like such as making breakfast for you or serving coffee for you. That's the time you would start figuring out what you like about them the most and what makes you think that you cant spent the rest of you life without. On the other hand, if you ask a girl, it would be totally different answer. She could tell you all the things she like about that guy from morning till night. She would even talk about him none stop that you feel like your going to be sick.

     Many girls do not ask their man about why they love them. Maybe it is because they are shy or they do not want the man to think that she is doubting his love for her. But in reality, girls prefer to know what makes him love her. It gives her a sense of security about their relationship, that he is not fooling around and hurting her in the end.

     You see, love, is not something as easy to understand as the word in the dictionary. It is not just the feeling, or spending more time. It has more meaning to it like a mother would love her children. The kind of expression you see on the mother's eyes when she is holding her new born child. Love is a mature thing, you need caring, understanding, patience, truth, kindness, forgiveness, tolerance and not anger,lies, hatred or revenge.

     Many people these days say that they love each other. But at times you could see in their actions that they do not feel as to what they have said. If you really love them, the people around you could tell easily that you love someone without you telling it out.. Just watching your actions is enough to tell everything. It is like "apicture says a thousand words", in this case it should be "actions speaks truth".

     Many times in many different cases, we get unreturned love. We love someone whom we knew would not love us back the same way we love them. At times, we secretly love our friends, and hoping that they might have the same feeling for us. But before we even get to that big confession, they hurt us without even knowing it by saying that we are just friends, that we would never date each other, that we are just like brothers and sisters to them. That is the time we learn that wedon't stand a chance to be with them in ways like couple do. Although we have the love for them, yet we always give way to them. We let them to have life they wanted, they get their partners, and we trying to be supportive, wishing them good luck in their life together, hoping that they stay happy, it is just something that I call a "hidden love". A kind of love that people do not understand what kind of love we have for them.

     Love, even for me, I cant say much. Everyone has a different experience about love. Some say that love sucks. Some might even say that love rules the world. We all still need more experience on this love thing that is going on with all of us. Love that we show to people of different level of relationship such as our family, friends, and partners are all different level of love. But we still love them all the same, just that what they share together are different, and it doesn't really matter to anyone. As long as everyone is being love, it is fair enough. Everyone desires it. LOVE. No one can really survive in this world without at least being love by their parents.

     So, love everyone as much as you can. Do not keep your anger, revenge, hatred blocking the love you got from the world. There are nothing good but love. It keeps the good memories following into ones life.

How Much Do You Trust The Other?

We all have an issue on trust, we may say that we trust the other, but how much?

There are times that we say we trust someone with our life, but a voice in us ask us in a whisper, “Just how much do you trust them?”

     At times we may say that we trust someone soo much, but it is a lie and we know it. But why do we lie? Do we really want to show that we have someone to trust in and that we are not alone in this complicated and confussing world? Just what could we be able to get out from telling others that we have some trustworthy people beside us?

     A friend of mine once told me that I shouldn’t trust someone so much that I put my life at the front line. Even if it is a friend or foe, a product or a company, a stranger or the familiar, we might not know their true intention. We having to trust them too much and they knowing it, might just use those trust to their own advantages and having to hurt us at the end. Even with us not noticing it.

Sometimes when we trust our friends too much that we do not believe what other people tell us about them. At times, that people who really care about us gave us advice and warnings from people like these, we ignore them, we tell ourself soo strongly that its a lie, that they are all just jealous we have people we could go to.

     All of us started to learn about trust ever since we were created on this planet. Since the day of our birth, we place trust in our parents, putting our life in their hands. To take care of us, to feed us when we are hungry, to keep us warm and dry after we came back from playing in the rain, to give us new cloths when we begin to grow out of them. To guide us when we are lost and in confuse state, to teach us and at times to scold and shout at us when we did mistakes.

     Teenagers often likes to take these trust from their parents for granted. Parents trust their children to be good, to behave, to not bring down the family name, to show the world that, this family are to be respected, and most of the time, parents trust their children to not do anything foolish that might hurt themselves when the parents are not there to keep an eye on them. Children make promising to not lose their parents trust without even knowing what they are promising, what they are keeping at the edge of the cliff. Many times, teenagers makes mistakes of jumping around that cliff, not knowing that one day, that cliff will give way, and with the child, it will fall to the sea. For the parents and parents to be out there, give your child a second chance, even if they really break your heart and end up doing stupid things. Go back to guiding them to the right path, for that is what they have trusted you to do when they are lost in darkness.

You know how at times, when we fall in love, everything seems to be clouding our mind from the truth. Especially for the girls. Everytime when we fall in love with this one guy, we keep saying to ourself “this is the one”, but ends up that he isn’t. One weakness of girls, we believe men too quickly. maybe some of you don’t, your the stronger ones. But like me, I notice many of us are like that. because of their sweet words, we grow to trust them blindly without even really fully know them well. Even when the guys that your seeing are messaging another girl behind your back, and telling to your face that its just a business partner, you would believe him. Even start to imagine him at work, busy at his work to get his pay increase so that he could propose with a diamond ring. Don’t trust the men 100%, maybe just 99%. But for the guys, even if the ladies trust you 99%, that 1 little percent may just crush that whole 99%, and you would eventually lose that perfect girl. Not only that, you hurt her in the most evil way a girl could ever imagine. You lost her trust and trust, its something you have to earn once you lost it.

     But what about the trust place in friendship? If you were to meet me and personally ask me this, i would say, we all are basically alone. There is no one in the world that you could give all your trust to. Not even your friends. Some trust, yes, but not 100%. We make friends, we lose friends. But the best part is if we could make new ones and still keep the old ones. But sometimes, its just seem impossible. Like what had recently happened to me. A friend that i thought is my truly best friend, that i could tell her anything that is bothering me, that i could trust her to keep my secrets and what ever I told to her. Ever since she met new friends of hers, she had forgotten me. I do not blame her, or hate her…but I have been thinking…all those things that i have said to her, will she still keep them as our little secrets or would she tell them to those new friends of hers?

     Like what I have said so often to many different people, that trust, is not just a word. It is something that we place on other people, like a mark. It is easily put on, but once its being erase, there is no way to have that mark to appear again. “Trust is something you have to earn, not ask for”. Be wise in choosing the ones that you trust.

Is Runing Our Only Choise?

   Everyone runs, don't you agree with me? People always run to where ever they could. They run when they see a problem coming towards them. They run when someone confess their love to them, they run when they are being hurt by people that they had trusted their life upon. 

     Running seems to be the only easy thing to do. The only first solution to every problem that many of us uses these days. Even me, I don't deny it, I run whenever i could. But why do we run? Is it because we are too scare to face the problems that lies ahead of us? Or are we too scare to face the consequences after each wrong solution that we think is best for those problems. Or...are we just too scare to open up ourself to the world, too scare of being hurt in return for our kindness and love. Too scare of being betrayed by the people we trusted to take care of us, of our feelings. But still...why do we always choose to run, instead of staying and sticking out for ourself?

     We run from studies, run from facing weddings that we dont want, run from our family that doesn't understand us nor give us spcae and freedom. We run from our spous when they hurt us, lie to us, cheated us, break our heart, take our love, kindness, caring, all for granted. We run when we feel that we were being abondand by the people we love, our family, our friends...people that we tought would always be there for us. 

      Running...seems to be the easiest thing to do in life. It takes us to anywhere our feet could carry us. It lets us to meet new people, see new places, have a new hope, a new life and a new advanture. But the smartest person would never run from their problems. Even though sticking around and facing the problems that lies ahead would not take them to many places, nor let them meet millions of new faces. But hey, what is there to judge? Sticking around and finding solution to our problems doesnt take us to beautiful country, but it helps us to let the world know who we really are. To be strong, to show what we make of, and to help us learn to accept the things that we hate, or love, or things that we frequently get confusse about. Life doesnt always goes the way we want it, but the point is, making the best out of things, even if those things come by horribly, and hurt us and make us cry. Do not let problems take control of you, dont let it be the master of you.

I'm sorry guys

I am truly deeply from the bottom of my heart sorry if i did or say anything to displease you, or to make you angry at me. I dont meant to hurt your feelings. Now there is only two weeks left before holiday. Christmas is coming, my due date is soon. So, please...whatever i did...please forgive me.

There are few things that i want to say right....yea....first of all...1 love...thanks to UG bro...

To Emad,
You ask me before, why i no longer goes to Hasan's place..
thats because i cant...i can but i know myself that if i go, i might fall asleep there, and i cant let that happen. In so many reason. I have a boyfriend, its not good that i sleep at another guys place, in his house in his room. And i cant stand the environment there. It is hasan's place, i respect how his place is... but my body cant take it... i dont want to get sick and make my whole family worry about me... And my name here is already very bad amongst the arab people... if i stay at hasan's place, and they found out, it would be much worst. And also i have another reason which i think yana still remembers... Emad, i really want to be apart for the mini doc, i know i didnt help much, thats my fault...im stupid at taking videos and all but i still dont get the idea of why you guys want to do the editing at hasan place.

To Yana,
I guess you still remember what i said to you about me and the facebook thing right? yea...i still have that feeling and that is why i am putting some space between it. Yana, i'm sorry if i ever disturbed you... i wont again... and there is one thing i want to advise you yana, you seem to forget this all the time. if you have someone you dont want to lose, always make sure that you gave them our time. because if you dont, they will surely find someone else. The world is an unfair playground. It is a world that will hurt you to the core. It is a classroom that makes you think "what did i do?" Life isnt a place that would always give you a fair price. sometimes the other would just have to give way.

To Luvia my love,
Its not that i have any problems with hasan or yana, its just that i stayed away from hasan's place that it kindda made me distance from them. also judging how yana likes to stay at his place. I know its more fun then here. One more thing, i dont want to say what, but try to have peace with them, even sometimes they drive you up the wall and give you no space to defend yourself. They are who they are, instead of argueing with them, trying to let them see that your right, understand them, and talk peace with them. i know the kind of troubles you have base on what you post and what you told me. but like i said so many times, things doesnt always go the way you want it to go. and thanks, for asking me to think about myself...but i dont know if i can do that or not...

To Moazir and Yasser,
You guys, truly i enjoy the time i spend with you guys, although it is short, but it was worth while. i might not see you guys again, but i hope not to lose contacts. Moazir, thanks for your ears, i hope my voices didnt do any damage to it. you are really a great listener and a great person to discuss things with...you know what i mean. I hope you dont give up on your english, im always here to guide you if you have any problems. Yasser, although the time we spend was really short (just one outing with you) but it was worth while. But your a bad lier as well... I know how sometimes when you got a problem and you dont want to talk to anyone or see anyone, but still...you have to let it out sometimes, shouting at the mirror, writing it down, talking to someone, anything, just let it out... you dont even have to tell any living soul...but i hope you find peace with your inner self.

To Hasan...
Sorry i put you last...coz i dont really know what to say to you...only thing is stop smoking you damn.......haiz...actually, your the 3rd person im trying to convince to stop the smoking habbit... there is no reason for you to continue smoking like that...and when you go home, your going to take a break from smoking...so why dont you just stop smoking? truly...i donno what else to say to you... and good luck with your progress ^_* you know what i mean

To Yana and Moazir,
You guys have ask me before, why i dont just break off with my bf and let him go...be free from him... well...here is my truthfull answer to you guys... the only reason i am still with him is because i still love him... he is my everything, although there are most of the times, him doing things and breaking my heart. i keep him at my side because i have no one closer to me other than him. His the only person that i could truly talk about anything to...things that even most of you dont know...his the only one that could talk to me, give me solutions that non of you could. at times when i am lost, i dont know what to do, his always the one to give me a new hope. and his the one i know that will be by my side and not abandon me....i dont care anymore about all the things he did to me, i just need someone that i know will be there for me to cry on...who will always come when i need him

guy, you guys are the closest friends i got in my entire history.... but please try to understand my situation... i dont want to do anything to distroy my family...i dont want my family to separate because of my behavior here with you guy... they trust me, and i dont want to lose that trust...

i love you guys...take care...

Just Returned from Bali, Indonesia

     A week in Bali was never enough. Although it was just a week, I really had enjoyed my time there with my beloved friends and lecturers. Knowing that Bali is a place that you could shop, I perposely brought little money with me. (RM 150) to be EXECT. And it last me for really a week there, yet i still could buy two pack of bath salt, a soap, 3 bookmarks, and a big cloth, and of course some snakcs and drinks for my lesuire. 

      Going to Bali isn't just for fun but also to do our coffee table book, which 'In God's Wish' to be publish next year. Hopefully i would get a copy of it for free...hehe... some of our works, such as feature articles, drawing, pictures will be publish in it too, and this is a benefit for us students, it is an opportunity to get a good job in the future. 

       Truely, its my first time to go to Bali, more over without my parents but with friends. Half of the students that were going with me, I did not know nor seen or even think that they exist...but there they are, they sit in the same bus as me, we laugh together, sing together, take pictures together, eat together and...still together even after the trip. I hope, making this many new friends, I hope I do not lose the old ones... It would be a waste if that really happens...

     On the first day of trip, the first thing that i notices was....there is alot of white people... white people not base on their colour, but base on the country that they come from that were dominant with Christians. Those white people. They seem to be everywhere we go. Its like they were already becoming Balenese...except for that they dont dance like them.  While on this trip, I get to see many things, learn many things and hear many things. My first experience in Bali was about the monkeys at one of the temple we visited. It grab something from my friend's bag that I was carrying at the moment. These monkey were known to be the theives of all theives. Stealing from food to glasses, hats, chains, earings and anything that shines in their eyes, they will steal it from you. Just like what they say, monkey see monkey do.   

     

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Voices of Unity

Finally there is something that I could that control of my assignments... which is the one, the only, PSA ( by the way it stands for Public Service Announcement ). An assignment given by my Writing of Masses lecturer Ms. Afifah.
I usually could very much hate all of my assignments, the only assignment that i came to like was the one I had from my foundation year, which I got to do a radio drama with my friends. It was soo cool and I am hoping to get another chance to do it again. But this time, my assignment for this PSA is about Unity. Oh beautiful unity, pretty as it sounds, the idea of having this PSA about unity was...uncoming... However, we did manage to record around 10 different voices of people, mostly my classmates and doing it like a montage.
While doing this PSA, I notice how the term 'unity' could have so many different meanings. Weither it is for a person, for a family, friends, or a nation, or even the whole wide world, unity is just unity. It has so many meanings but in the end it all comes down to one, that is to live happily and peaceful together on one world, under one sky, in one world.

I dont understand ladies at all!!

I really dont understand how it is that ladies could be ladies. I admit that I am a tomboy. Those things like high heels and make ups and dresses are really not my thing.
Sometimes when I'm at the shopping mall with my friends or family, I notice other working ladies at the shoe shop testing every nice heels that had cought their attention. Its weird how they could only just choose a heel that could only match one of their outfits and not many. They had to buy many heels to match all of their outfit that hangs in their room. And I am sure that each time they went shopping, the first thing that they would aim for are bags and heels. I know that it is fashion that some may say, but what is it fashion when they only just buy and use it once or twice and being lock up in the shoe cabinet for douzen years. And after buying new shoes, you really you had bought this other show years ago but has only whore it one or twice... Isnt it a waste??
Isnt curiall to safe some money and spend money on the things that you really need? Or safe money for the future where God only knows what might happen. The way how I identify rich people is not of their big house or their big cars or what kind of cloths they are wearing, but through how easily they could spend their money without thinking if they really need it or not. They just spend it like hell and later complain that they are broke... Because what make it different from rich people are people who knows how to spend money wisely, that money dont just come into your account bank whenever you want it or how ever much you want it. Things might happen in the future, you might be amit to hospital and have a huge sum of fees to pay, or your house got burn, where would you stay? Depent on your parents and siblings? Or your parents or siblings got sick and couldnt affort to pay the full amount of the fees, are you just going to sit at the side and watch your family suffer? I know the answers in your heart to those questions, but do you admit to your answers or would you just ignore them and go on buying things that are not important??

What is wrong with the guys other there today??

Today, i must admit....walking really is tiring. I'm a person who likes to walk. Everyday you could see me do is just walk walk and more walk. Today i attended this fashion show event by my university at Bangsa shopping centre. After a 2 hours stand, the event ended at 6.30. No doubt it was tired, but my friends and i still had the stamina in us to go shopping at Mid Valley. Really....its very hard for my because of my condition...each foot i put infront of the other, it really hurts like hell that makes me feel like either want to pee or want to cry...the pain is not the feet though...its kindda private...anyway...moving on... as we were on the escalator going down to the parking, this two guys (judging by the look and the way they speak, i suppose their Iranians) were going the opposite direction going upwards. As we pass each other, he look at me and begain to say "excuss me..." but since our escalators were moving, he couldnt continue what he wanted to say. In the end he had to follow us all the way down to our parking. Finally before i could escape out of the door, he shouted out "Excussed me...wait" he apologize to my girl friend who was currently with me at the moment and started to talk to me " Sorry, i just need a few moment with you...well im married, you see me younger brother here, im looking for a nice, pretty..." before he could finish his sentence, i grab hold of my guy friend who passed by my side who intended to leave me behind. since i already know what he wanted from me, the only best way to say no was to make him think that i am already taken. And things goes well... my guy friend indeed came in the right time....but its really weird...how can guys be soo....i donno...thinking that by just making such request, the girl would say yes?? really!! what happen to friendship, then relationship...get to know more about each other???

The sense of sight and understanding emerge

I guess its time that I accept reality. Everytime i see a movie, listen to song or reading my book, i tend to think that life would go the way they are in movies and all the entertainments in this world. I never, not even once, think that all those things are just fantasy, that it is all made up by someone. Even the movies, it was all organize and the producer knows what is happening and what will happen, because they are the ones that decide what is to happen to their characters. But i realize...that...life isnt like that at all. Life is a journey, a journey which one does not know where it will end. But the traveler sets goal in their journey and hope that they will end up where ever that is they want to be. But life's journey would never end until one dies. It countinues on and on, even when you had reach your life's goal, it will still continue on, it may take you to success or it might led you to a downfall. The conclussion is all based on the choice of route during the journey.
I guess this is all a wake up call for me, to accept things as the way it is. Bad things may come, but there is also those good sweet things that will later come. So one should not be discourage just because bad things keep coming to life. This that happened in life cant be rewind, time would not go backwards just to give you another chance. The only time when chance appear may not be easily spotted. So... always think twice, trice, to confirm that the choice your making is what you really want.
And starting from this point onwards, im only going to be making decisions for myself what i think is best for me. Im going to make my life more happier and merrier like never before. Coz there is only one journey of life, and yet fill with many kinds of memory. Life with only one journey should be full of nothing but sweet and lovely memories and makes the soul fly high into the sky.

I wish you guys will oneday realize, that life is just too short. Enjoy your life mates, stop complaining ^_^.

P.S: I love all of you out there

Happy Ever After...

Life doesnt always go the way you plan them to go, and it deffinatly wont go if you dont have a plan. But in reality, no one really plan things the way that its going on with them at the moment. Things just happen you know, and sometimes, well most of the times there isnt and explanation as to why things are really happening the opposite way from what you want. Maybe, all of this things are predestine into our life by God. Maybe God knows what is best for us, and plan things for us wether we like it or not. But at the end, we still have to accept God's plan for us. Because God is after all the All-Knowing One.
Have you ever been in a situation where by you sometimes wonder if your with the right guy? That that guy isnt just another one of those wrong guys? Well...i have...Sometimes it makes me feel scared of having any relationship with guys. The things that always going on around inside their mind can never be understood. The fear that you have, thinking that your not a perfect girl enough that your boyfriend might just cheat you and sleep with another girl...then you start to imagine what he might possibly be doing with that other girl when he says his out and your all alone at home, he doesnt call you nor send you messages... What kind of horror this is for all the girls...on the movies you see husbands cheating their wife behind their back, always saying that they have to go out station but then they ends up at the front door of a sexier and younger looking women...And seeing that you started to imagine your life, you start asking yourself would your life be like that or will you be able to find someone even better, who loves you and you alone. And when you listen to love songs...arr...all those beautiful loves songs, it just makes you think about him and nothing but him, and you begin to feel a kind of sansation, burning in your heart, ohh...how much that makes you want him to be in your arms, but you realize that his just not there, and you begin to cry....how foolish of you, you have fallen soo deeply in love with him that later when you found out that his cheating on you, you would rather just forgive him and let him return to your life than to move on...and oh...how blind and lost you are, for not thinking that it would happen again...
Sometimes i wonder...what does God really want from me....is it to learn, have experients about the true world? learn to be strong and independent? that i dont really need a guy in my life to be strong? What??
Full of questions, questions that does not have answers...

Lost

Thanks my dearest friends for keeping on reminding me that guys always talk sweet to girls just to have what they want. Sometimes I feel as though I dont know anything. I keep asking myself if he really loves me or is he just trying to get what his aiming for. Sometimes i doubt that he has anything for me yet at the same times thinks that he really do loves me. So, I guess you could say that i was in a lost and confussing state of mind and i didnt know what to think at that time. But what's the point, things change, we separate... But here's the thing, he says he misses me, yet he doesnt call me nor sms me, and yet i'm the one who have always been calling him... Did he ever have anything for me?? Atleast anything that is true??

Taking the step ahead of me...

This time, even though I know that this was the only relationship that last short but quite intimate, I decided to move forward. Although I have been advicing most of my friends to just move on from a broken relationship, I know that it is not easy, I understand what they feel and going through at that time. And this time, I had to do the same, to move onwards when I know there is nothing there for me to say "Hey wait, just give me a few moments," there is no point of me doing that when i know nothing is going to change. He will never be mine...and i guess that is just the way it ment to be, that we are not ment for each other. So whats more to do then to just let it go and keep walking forwards? But leaving him behind and going back to my mother's home was quite tough. He was the one who wanted to send me to the bus station to see me off, and the whole time when i was with him that day i really wanted to cry, but i didnt. Deep down I keep on reminding myself that i had made a promise to him to be stronger. It wouldnt be fitting if i would have cry infront of him...

Lonely again...

Somehow, even though knowing that my friends and family are always there for me, beside me and whatever people always say to me when i cry...i feel lonely...though i am always available for those who needs me and always there for them when they need someone to talk to....somehow i just feel...the only thing that i am miss is...me... how i wish to have a clone...a clone of me... to have someone to talk to, to motivate me to the right path... it seems that im not getting motivate much often... how i wish that you could understand what is like to feel lost, and hoping that the dearest person to your life would motivate you and bring some light into your life...

All this time

Do you ever once in your life time imagine and hope that you are the hero of the world? To be brave and fight for the things that you hold dear to your life? To be a hero like all those games design to be in such a way like Final Fantasy, Ragnarok online, Kingdom Heart and such?

But believe this, even heroes needs to be motivate to do something that they want to do, but scare of facing the darkness. In our life, no matter how much it seems that we are facing things alone, we arent really alone. People always says that God is beside you so you dont have to fear anything. It is true that God is always there, but what is the point of putting all your faith onto God's hand when you dont even have a little tiny bit of faith in yourself?

Relationship is not something you just meet and have it immediately. Relationship takes time to grow and some understanding. Breaking up a relationship with your spouse doesnt mean that your should not still love them or care of them. More over it does not mean you cant see them and still be friends, or much more better, the best friend of your life. Relationship isnt something to be taken for granted, instead it should be cherish, well cared for.

Take your time, and think...Are you really taking care of your relationship well enough? Are you spending enough equal time with everyone? Are you not ignoring a certain someone that might need you to be by their side when they were at yours when you needed someone?

Think about it, what have you been doing all this time??

Kingdom heart

New Members of the Family

For the first time in my life, I decided that I do not want to be alone in this life anymore. I just boughted two dawrf hamster, a male named Rex and a female named Lola. Although i know that relationship with people of the society is very important in once life, but they, the 'People' are the most scariest living beings ever imaginable. They could just smile at your face and pretend to be nice and friendly with you, then as time passes by, they became a monster with hidden agendas. But what makes them more scarier is that you could never know, whether they mend you no harm, or they are just waiting at one corner for the right time to strike you down with a shining needle stright at your heart.

But somehow that is the way life is going around for all of us. No matter where you go, who you hang out with, we always have decision at a specific time to chose what is it that you want for yourself in your own life. Couse no one is going to chose for you. No one is soo caring enough to do things for you. This is your life, you are the ones who are behind the wheels, the driver of a BMW car, you have to chose which road you want to take. BMW is like your life, when it is damege you send it for repair, when it is dirty you clean it, when it is on the road you drive carefully. That is just like how your life is, how you want to take care of it and not the other person.

People around you wont help you much, all that they could do is just sit at their sits, be entertain as they watch the show going on, and gives what ever comments that are produce up in their brain. But such comments are both good and bad, wheather you chose to listen or not is totally up to you.

Take some time and listen to the sound of your most inner self, listen to what they are trying so hard to shout at you, listen to why they are trying so hard to catch your attentions...WHY??
Because they are the voice of GOD.

My Designs

First year in LUCT

Relationship?

What the hell is wrong with this world this year? All of the relationship are crashing down like coffin falling down from the sky. What is the point of continue seeing each other when you know that there is no more chance that the relationship could get stronger...What is the point of having him to be honest with you when his not yours anymore...No matter how many times you went to see him, you just wish that he could hug you tightly again, to let you feel that everything is just going to be alright and nothing will come to harm you... But the fact is that, its not going to happen. A broken relationship is and will always remain broken, it will not heal no matter what. So at this point, shouldn't you just let him go, let him do what ever it is that he wants to do, let him go on with his life and you with yours?

FRIENDS

Spend in PD for a night out

Although this semester was really busy with assignments and exams and all, but we all had our part of fun together. No matter if its with our friends, or classmates or lecturer or even those that are new to us, we still had an unforgettable fun down at the beach of Port Dickson. Though some of our classmates couldn't make it for this event, I hope they make an appearance at the next outing event with all of us. It would be a momantious event. REALLY !!!

Coolest people of FCMBs

This are all my classmates for Ms. Farah class (Communication Writing Skills). They...I mean we, all the most craziest but fun to be with people from around the world that were gather on one stop in KL. We even went to Parvilion to watch the Angles and Demons movie. I really truly love that movie. The movie itself kindda show that you could not judge a person base on how he looks nor what he does, becuase, no matter is that person does good things, he would still have a motive behind his doing...so...yea

Important people

As time fly passes by, as we all starts to grow older and older by the minute, things will keep on changing. No matter where you are, no matter where you go, no matter what you do, you are never alone. No matter how lonely you think you are, but there are always someone around the corner to be your friend.
Although we all keep on making friends without stopping, we should never forget about the friends that we currently have beside us. You can make as much friends as you want, but do not ignore the friends that you already have, or you will have no one that you could trust in.

Crazy Friends This Semester

This semester was really fun and enjoyable compare to the previous two semester in Limkokwing Creative University. Many a-nights, i have been staying at one of my friend's place. Me, Mr. H, and Ms. L, the three of us has been crazy for the past 3 weeks since we started to stay at Mr. H house to do assignments. The little room fill with full of laughter, really makes us supper close to one another. Even one of our lecture, Mr. F was really friedly with the three of us. out side of the university, he is our best friend, but in class, his our most friendly lecturer ever, the best!!
I hope this happiness and friendship would continue forever and ever...

Relationship in a CRISIS

Time has change, many things have advances to our own benefits. The advantage of computers, ipod, iphone, slim tv set and many more were created by us humans. It makes us able to have control on our environment, to use the availlable sources to create things that are of use to us.

But out of all the things we could do, there is something that we cant control. Which is a healthy relationship.

From the begining of this year, many relationship have ended up in a separate way. Leaving each other to go their own desirable ways of their life. Maybe its a good thing about separations, you could learn to be strong, to stand up after each fall you receive, to be able to move on quickly. Broken relationship isnt so bad after all ex could still be your best friend in life even if they might belong to someone else.

As for me, I'm now am being a single. Even though i love him, i still cant be with him no matter how much i want to be with him. Knowing that he is engage to another lady, i still take care of him as much as i can do for him. But some advice me to move on and not hang onto him with a thin piece of thread.

Well, my advice is, even if your relationship is broken up, just see it as a lesson so that you could know what to expect and how to care more fore spouse.

I hope that you guys out that have a happy healthy relationship forever.

Life Journey

For years that i have live my life, this life, I have lived it boldly, arrogantly and full of stubborness. But not soo long ago that i have open my eyes to something new, something that i daringly called it life.

Seeing this whole new life with my eyes wide opened did I only notice that this is my life. A life in which I may only be granted to live only once. A life where I will not only live once, but as well as die once, fall in love once and hopefully married once. Yes, a marriage should only be just once, so that makes us to choose our decision on who we want to spend the rest of our life with more carefully.

A life that can only live once must have a journey, for there is no life without a journey and no journey without life. For every moment of my life that i have left, no doubt there will be obsticles, but life must go on. And even if I were to head on with life, I would never give in to the chances of losing any wanderful moments that i had made with my family, friends, teachers as well as strangers who had lighted up my days just as they were passing by.

For this is a journey of life, and there shall always be different road to journey on the lives.